Family Therapist
by floutistvivi
Summary: What happens when Inu and Sessy go to a therapist? I suck at summaries. Plz read! This story is not mine! Salvaged from a site that was shut down and I decided to post it so other people could read it. My sense of humor is not this good.
1. First Visit

[Sesshoumaru sits cross-legged in his blank interview room staring in to nothing while James sneaks up from behind him in classic Scooby-Doo style sneak on the tips of her Mary Janes.]

James- HELLO PUPPY!

[Sesshoumaru slowly turns to look back at James.]

Sess- Is it time for more idiotic questions?

James- Nope.

[Sess continues to stare at James who grins evilly.]

Sess- What is it now human?

James- Well *still smiling* since it seems you have so many issues, most of them about or related to your family I've decided to give you a special treat!

Sess- Inuyasha's head on a platter?

James- No silly willy! I am taking you to a family therapist so you can sort out your issues!

[James snaps her fingers and the room dissolves. The two are now standing in a waiting room. The waiting patients look up from their month old magazines at the two newcomers. It seems that two people appearing out of thin air is so impossible, they all choose to ignore them. Sess stares turning around every which way utterly confused from his place on the floor. The Secretary leans over from her desk.]

Secretary- Fluffy, Fluffy you're next. Please go to room 27.

[Still sitting, Sess's eyes move from the secretary to James who stands there grinning.]

Sess- *in a horrible monotone voice and with a death glare* Fluffy…?

James- *grins and nods* Yep!

[James runs over to Sess and grabs his hand dragging him on the floor for a moment before he can stumble to his feet. The two flu down the hallways and stop abruptly at a door marked 27 and the name Dr. Muss on a plaque beneath it. As Sesshoumaru stares at his gold reflection in the plaque James knocks.]

Voice- Come in…

[James flings open the door and drags Sess in, dumping him on a velvet lounge couch. The room is a small rectangular shape. Awards and certificates line the wall and against one wall is a large desk and some file cabinets. The man sitting behind the desk is middle aged with a bald spot on his head. He had a wrinkled forehead and square glasses. He wears the standard suit and tie jazz. Dr. Muss rises from his seat and reaches his hand out to James.]

Dr- Hello, you must be James.

James- *shakes hand* Yep! *points with free hand at a cross-legged Sess* and that's Sesshoumaru aka Fluffy!

Dr- I see, and where is the other family members?

[Sess's eyes widen and he stares at James.]

Sess- No…

James- *smiles* Yep!

[James snaps her fingers again and in the middle of the floor materializes Inuyasha. Inu sniffs around totally confuses.]

Inu- What the hell?

[Suddenly Inu's eyes lock onto Sess's. Time freezes as the two half brothers glare at each other then…all hell breaks loose. Dr. Muss dives under his desk while James stands with her hands on her hips and a frown on her face.]

Dr- *from beneath his desk* Do you have anything to stop this insanity!?

James- *laughs and points at the brawl* You should be thankful. I took their weapons!

Dr- *retrieves his stress ball from his desktop and begins squeezing* Just make it stop!

[James walk to a miscellaneous table of disregarded magazines and papers.]

James- *rolls up newspaper* Oh yea, leave this to me doc.

[James jumps into the demon dog pole and begins whacking. Soon the two brothers separate; Inu leaping to crouch on the top of Dr. Muss's desk and Sess to crawl back onto the couch with James still whacking him.]

Sess-Hey go hit him some more!

James- *continues to hit him* He's younger and stupider! You're the oldest! You should know better!

[James finally stops and goes over to Inu. She bends down so she's level with the crouching demon.]

James- Aww… aren't you the cutest little puppy!

Inu- *growls* Hey! I am not a…

[Inu abruptly stops because James has started petting him behind the ears. Dogness takes over and Inu leans into the hand, his tongue lopping out of his mouth. Sess frowns from his couch. Muss peeks over his desk rim at the scene.]

James- Good little puppy! *notices Sess* Aw, you want me to pet you too?

Sess- * narrows his eyes in response*

James- *stops petting Inu and points to the couch* Ok, off the table puppy. Go sit next to your brother!

Inu- But-

James- SIT!

[Inu's ear fold back and obediently, he gets off the desk and sits on the couch. The two brothers are separated by as much space as they can muster. James goes to the door and puts her hand on the knob.]

James- You two be good little doggies and I'll give you a very special treat!

Sess- *sarcastically* I thought this was supposed to be a treat…

James- *cheerfully* No, I lied. This is because I can't deal with you pent up emotions and denial anymore!

[Inu stares a t the girl then back at his brother waiting for him to explode and cut her head off. Sess's eyes begin to turn red as he stares at James. Then finally he huffs out a breath and turns his face aside. Inu is dumbfounded.]

James- That's right puppy. You know not to mess with me! *opens the door and walks through it* Bye-bye puppies!

[The door closes and James is gone. Dr. Muss slowly rises and sights. What had he gotten himself into? Oh well for 20 bucks an hour he could consul these dog-monster-brothers. Or whatever James had called them. The Dr. pulls out his papers from James. She had given him specific topic to dive into.]

TO DR. MUSS!

Things to ask the puppies about:

1. Sess feeling like his mother was replaced

2. Sess thinking Inu is the reason for their father's death

3. Sess's failure to admit feelings (Rin)

4. Inu's mood swing

5. Inu's HUMAN girlfriend

[Muss takes a seat opposite of the brothers in a large leather armchair, a notepad in his lap. The brothers stare at him.]

Dr- So you two are brothers-

Inu- HALF, half brothers…

Dr- Oh, so you two are touchy on this issue?

Sess- I have no brother, half or otherwise.

Dr- Hm, would you like to tell me about ho Inuyasha's mother came into your life?

Sess- *crosses his arms and looks away* No.

Inu- I'll tell you about it!

Sess- You don't even know a thing about it, pup!

Inu- *raises his fist and turns to face his brother* What did you call me!

Dr- Sh sh! Calm down now! I don't want to call James because if I did I'm sure she would not be happy at all!

[The threat of having James come back and hit them with newspapers calmed the brothers down. They now sat at each edge of the couch angled away from each other.]

Dr- *sighs* All right, Sesshoumaru please tell me about how Inuyasha's mother came into your family.

Sess- *decides he has no choice if he wants to keep James away* Well, when I was around 12 my father ran into her while at some village, I never really care enough to ask.

Dr- So even from the start you didn't care for her, why is that?

Sess- I didn't like her because she was a human who was taking my mother's place.

Dr- How long was your mother dead when Inuyasha's mother came into the picture?

Sess- My mother died when I was 2 or 3. But even though it was years after her death that Inuyasha's mother entered my life, she was still taking my mother's place. That's what I thought and what I still think.

Dr- What if your father had chosen another of your kind? Would that have been ok?

Sess- No, but it was worse because she was just a lowly human.

Inu- Don't talk about my mother that way!

Sess- Inuyasha, how would you feel if our father had chosen another woman to replace your mother after she died even though he loved your mother with all his heart!?

[Inu opened his mouth to say something then shut it. He didn't have a response to that. Dr. Muss watched with interest the tool down some notes on his writing pad. The brothers were too busy ignoring each other to notice.]

Dr- All right, I can establish that Inuyasha's mother is a large reason for the hostility between you two. *stands up* I think maybe some healthy release of anger is in order; a controlled orderly release.

[The brothers watch the Dr go to a cabinet and take two orange sticks out of it.]

Dr- All right, now each of you take on one of these padded bats… *both brothers reach forward and grab one* Now, I want you to let your anger out on each other. In an orderly way!

[The two dog demons look at the bats the at each other. Little did the Dr. Muss know, orderly anger release is not how these guys do it. Hell breaks out again as the brothers jump all over the room beating each other with foam covered bats. Soon Sess stops and stands looking at the orange stick while Inu runs around his brother whacking him Sess ignores his brother's soft attacks and begins picking at the foam. To his surprise the foam padding slides off completely and he's left with a very hard plastic club. Sess sheaves his club and grabs onto his brother's, wrenching it out of his and melting it into a pike of steaming goo.]

Inu- Hey you jerk! You melted my stick…

[Inu becomes quiet when he sees his brother pulling out his un-foamed club. Dr. Muss ducks under his desk as the club flies to Inu's head.]

Inu- OWWW!!!

[The doc reaches a hand up and pulls his phone down to him. He frantically begins to dial. Ten minutes later the door flies open and James is standing in it, a pissed off expression on her face. Upon seeing her, Inu dives behind her and hides behind her legs. He points at his brother.]

Inu- He hit me!

[James glares at Sess who stupidly holds the bat behind his back, as if she wouldn't know.]

James- Bad dog and bad man!

[James grabs a newspaper and whacks Sess on the nose. Then with an open palm, slaps Dr. Muss upside the head.]

James- You should know better than to give them plastic sticks!

Dr- *from beneath his desk* They were covered in foam-

James- *flailing he arms* I don't care! They've got vicious pit bulls deep inside them and foam sticks bring 'em out!

[James turns to Inu, who's cowering on the floor nursing a nasty head bump.]

James- Aww… poor puppy! Your brother was naughty bit you were a good dog, even though you attacked your brother you were just doing what the doctor told you do. Here.

[James snaps her fingers and a bag drops into her hand. The bag has a sticker on it that reads, 'Sophie's dog bakery' on it. she reaches in the bag and pulls out a doggy doughnut. She hands it to Inu, who begins nibbling on it. Then she turns to Sess.]

James- If you were good you would've gotten one too! But no… you had to be all mean and bitchy! Ok, this is enough torment for one session! Doc, I'll make another appointment soon!

[James snaps her fingers and the brothers disappear. She waves to the doctor.]

James- Bye bye for now!

[James leaves the room and leaves the doctor to pick up his office and prepare for the next session.]


	2. Second Visit

[ Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha sit in the waiting room on an old blue couch separated only by James, who sits between them humming the Spider-man theme song.]

James- Hum hum hum, hum hum hum… Does whatever a spider can…

Secretary- James, the doctor will see them now.

[James rises and starts walking with Sesshoumaru behind her and Inu trailing.]

James- *turns back to look at Sess* What do we say?

Sess- *stares at James like she's stupid* What are you talking about…?

James- You know! The name, I made the appointment in my name instead of the cute little nickname you love so much.

[Sess grunts in response. James, deciding she has to get Inu caught up to his brother in harassment point, addresses him.]

James- Aw, straggling are we?

Sess- *mutters* Runt…

[James frowns at Sess and whacks him on his only arm.]

James- Bad! *looks back to Inu* Do you want me to hold your hand puppy? Would you get caught up then?

[Inu glares at James as she goes to his side. Sess smirks.]

James- what are you smiling at? I held your hand the whole way last time.

[James grabs Inu's hand and before Sess can get out a word of defense, she speeds past him with a snickering Inu in tow. A few corners and Sess is gone, left to use his nose to find them. The pair stop at Muss's door.]

Inu- *looking back* What makes you think he'll follow?

James- *knocking* If he knows what's good for him he will.

Dr- Come on in.

[James opens the door and pushes Inu to the couch then stands in the doorway waiting for Sesshoumaru.]

James- Come on boy! *whistles* Come on!

[Sess rounds the corner. Ignoring James's puppy praise, he enters the room and sits sown cross-legged on the couch. James prances over to the doctor.]

James- Are you already to do that thing, that thing you told me you'd do. You know that thing… the THING!

Dr- Yes, I'm all set up, do you…

[James sighs and reaches into her pocket. She hands over and assortment of bills to the doctor who starts counting them immediately. James turns to the brothers.]

James-You should be grateful, it costs a lot to put you weirdoes through therapy and I found the cheapest guy! Oh oh! If the sessions weren't expensive enough I had to pay to replace those bats you wrecked and pay for the damages to the room! Now if you excuse me I have to go to work to help pay to straighten you losers out.

[James goes to the door, opens it, and slams it shut. All three stare at the door in her wake. Muss clears his through to get their attention.]

Inu- Hey what was all that about a thing?

Dr- Well I discussed a method with James and she agrees it may help.

Sess- *raises and eyebrow* What kind of method?

Dr- Well I would take one of you away and do some individual consulting with the other. Ah, Inuyasha would you like to leave first?

Inu- Keh.

[Dr. Muss rises and goes to the door. He motions for Inu to follow him. Inu rises and follows Muss out of room 27 across the hall to room 30. The room is small and square and is also almost completely bare except for a punching bag that hangs in the center of the room. The doctor pulls something out of his files.]

Dr- Now, while I speak to your brother-

Inu- Half brother…

Dr- Half brother, you'll be in here beating out your anger and hate.

[The doctor walks up to the bag and pins a glossy 9'' x 13'' nice looking head shot of Sess to it.]

Dr- Now I want you to beat on this punching bag while telling Sesshoumaru's face that you hate him.

[Inu pokes the bag which sways slightly.]

Inu- I'd much rather punch his real face…

[The Dr goes to the door and before closing it says;]

Dr- I bet you would.

[The dr. shuts Inu into the room and as an afterthought lock it too then goes back to room 27 taking a seat in his overstuffed chair.]

Dr- Now Sesshoumaru, James tells me that you have a problem admitting any feeling other than anger.

Sess- *narrows his eyes at the doc*

Dr- Yes, well *clears throat* Would you like to tell me how you feel about this girl Rin?

Sess- What do you mean how do I feel, she's there?

Dr- Well, Inuyasha makes you angry, so how does Rin make you feel?

Sess- …

Dr- Take your time, everything you say here is confidential, just between you and me.

Sess- What about her?

Dr- Who, James? She gets and overview of how you two are doing, since she's paying for this, but she won't know every word we say.

[Sess considers this but still says nothing.]

Dr- Let me help you a bit: is she an annoyance or does her presence put you at ease? Do you like to be around her or do you try to avoid her?

Sess- I don't avoid her. I don't have to. If I do become annoyed with her she'll quiet down and back off on her own accord.

Dr- So she does get on your nerves every once in a while, correct?

Sess- Yes but she's only a child.

Dr- Oh! So this Rin is a child, eh? A human child?

[Sess stares unwavering at the Doc.]

Dr- W-well she is just a child so do you feed her and cloth her and giver her shelter?

Sess- I clothe her bit Rin can feed herself.

Dr- And what about a home?

Sess- We travel, we are always traveling. She hasn't known a home since she began following me.

Dr- Hmm… *vaguely thinks that this train of thought maybe turning into some kind of child welfare case* Anyways… so you just tolerate her, is that it?

Sess- Yes.

Dr- Yet you let her follow you around, and if James's notes are correct… *flips a few pages back and confirms his thoughts* You gave up the chance at killing a major enemy just to save her.

Sess- …

Dr- In fact, you've saved her on several occasions when you could have easily let her die. Now sir, I think that this concludes that you don't just simply tolerate the girl, you have feelings for her.

Sess- *glances nervously around the room* Hmm…

Dr- Sesshoumaru, I ask you again, how does Rin make you feel?

Sess- …

Dr- …

Sess- …

Dr- *steeples hands*

Sess- …

Dr- Sesshoumaru, I can sit here all day, and get paid for it as well, waiting for you to admit.

Sess- She…

Dr- Yes?

Sess- *lets out a sigh* She makes me feel like I'm doing something good…

Dr- Yes! A break through, very good!

[The doc scribbles some things down and rises, going to the door.]

Dr- All right, I think it's time to change roles, come on now.

[Sess rises and follows the doc out of the door and down to room 30. Dr. Muss unlocks the door and opens it. inside sits a smug content looking Inuyasha . Inu rises and with his arms ticked into his sleeves and a smile plastered on his face, he leaves the room, not even glancing at his brother and goes back to room 27. The doc scurries in and takes down a very ragged piece of paper. He then pulls out another picture, a crappy crayon drawing resembling Inu's face.]

Dr- Now, Sesshoumaru I want you to take out all your hate on this bag, this 'Inuyasha substitute'. While you punch it I want you to tell him you hate him.

[Sess stares at the doctor like he's stupid. He gives the bag a push.]

Sess- I'd much rather beat him in person…

[This almost exact repeating of what his little brother had said prompts him to scribble some note down. Without saying anything the doc leaves, locks the door, and returns back to room 27 and his comfy chair.]

Dr- All right Inuyasha, lets begin. Let's discuss your mood swings-

Inu- WHAT MOOD SWINGS!!!

Dr- That mood swing. *leans forward* Inuyasha, a moment ago you were completely calm and now you're hostile. Why is it you feel the need to be so defensive all the time? James tell me that eventually you opened up to you friends but still would jump down their throats at times. Inuyasha, do you have a fear of abandonment?

[Inu crosses his arms and utters a 'hmp'.]

Dr- You're closing in on yourself, the crossing of your arms shows me this. Why are you afraid to open up to anyone, even those you come to see as your friends?

Inu- … Why do you think? That girl must have told you about my childhood. *points to the door* With a brother like that I have a right to be so secluded!

Dr- What do you mean by that?

Inu- *sighs* He abandoned me when I was little, Ok? When my mother died he let me follow him around for a bit then he just disappeared one day. Are you happy now?

Dr- Yes, yes I am. You were a lot more cooperative than your brother. Let me go and retrieve him.

[The doc leaves, leaving Inu to sit and wait. A loud cry from the doctor causes Inu's ears to perk up and him to rush to room 30 fearing what his brother had done. Coming to a stop next to the doc in the doorway, he discovers what the yell was for. In the middle of the floor sits a pile of shredded leather and padding, what was left of the punching bag. Inu goes over to investigate. Sess walks past him and out the door.]

Dr- *stammering* You just ruined a 500 dollar leather punching bag!

Voice- 500 DOLLARS!

[The doctor and Sess turn back to see James standing behind them. She stumps up to Sess and slaps him right across the face, not having a newspaper on hand.]

James- YOU BAD DOG!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

[James is still shaking with anger so as an afterthought, she gives Sess a kick in the shin before going into see Inu. Sess holds his shin, demon or human getting kicked in the shin still hurts like hell, trying to stop the pain. Inu is still crouched, poking around the remnants of the punching bag. He finally finds what he's looking for, a piece of paper.]

Inu- Hey, how come he gets a nice picture and I get a crappy drawing?

James- Shut up puppy! Here!

[James holds another bag from Sophie's. She pulls out a doggy smore and hands it to Inu.]

James- This is enough damage for one day! I have to go and find a way to pay off the debt you caused so get outta my sight!

[The doctor opens his mouth but James cuts him off.]

James- Not now, I've gotta pay for you, I'll schedule another appointment, later!

[With that James disappears down the hall leaving the doc to stand stupidly staring at the remains of his punching bag. He sighs and goes back to his room to call for clean up.]


End file.
